Will I ever be "HER" again?

Will I ever be blissfully innocent, not knowing what deep pain it is to lose.

Will I ever get to be pregnant again without worry, will I ever get to enjoy the first trimester and the morning sickness.

Will I ever get to watch an sonogram with out thinking, Dear God, please let there be a heart beat.

Will I ever make it to 20weeks and find out if it is a boy or a girl.

Will I ever get to watch my belly jump and get kicked in the ribs.

Will I ever feel so miserable and ready to get this baby out of me.

Will I ever get to deliver a beautiful baby and hold it in my arms.

Will I ever get to raise a child that I held in my womb for nine months.

Will a day ever go by without me thinking of the two I lost.

Will a day pass that I don't think about anything baby.

Will I ever be back to me, with no worries or cares.

I think the new me is here to stay. The battle scars across my heart may fade but they will never go away. Those of you who are pregnant or have children cherish it; each kick in the ribs, each trip to the bathroom, each late night feeding. Know that a baby is a miracle. I know and believe that God will give me a child, I know he will give me the desires of me heart. I know that he is an AWESOME GOD, and I know that he is in control of everything. I also know that he gave me a wonderful man to stand beside me the rest of my life and be my strength when I have none. To be my comforter and my rock. Thank you God for him, thank you for this day, thank you for watching over me, and thank you for my future children! I love you Lord!

<3 Amanda