We are pregnant......15 weeks and 4 days to be exact

I can't believe we have made it out of the first trimester. All the thanks has to go straight up to God, We are having a baby. WOW. It has been different this time around with the first two we told everyone right away, this time well I am about to be 16 weeks and am just now sharing. I have been so sick, but I won't complain if it means that I am going to have a healthy baby I will throw up everyday with a smile on my face. We have heard the heartbeat four times now most recently this past Friday. We are both just so excited and so thankful that God answered our prayers!

I want it too...

Once again it has been awhile, I don't know why I don't write on here more often maybe it is perhaps I am afaid of being judged, but in all honesty I am not caring about that any more. I need to get my feelings out. In so many ways I am so blessed and I remind myself of these things everyday. I have a wonderful husband, and great family, good friends, a job, and above all an AMAZING GOD.

BUT

I struggle still on a daily basis with losing my baby, yes it has been over a year, yes I was early in pregnancy, but until you have been there don't judge. You don't know the pain the heartache. My heart breaks for everyone out there who has suffered a loss the pain is almost unbearable, how anyone could do it with out God is unknown to me.

Today started out great, wonderful morning with my husband, then I went with my MIL to ho.bby l.obby and I guess I saw one too many pregnant people there. It comes in waves I will be doing so good and then have a bad day and well today my emotions were everywhere. What most people don't understand is I am so happy for every pregnant person I know and everyone I see, truly happy to the depth of my core, but I want it too!! is that so much to ask for? I know God has a perfect timing and I feel that timing is close and I strongly dislike me being so envious of all the bumps I see. So ball all that up and you get a load of fun. I can't wait to have a little Wyatt or Paisley but I am waiting on you Lord, your perfect timing, please make it soon....